"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
