i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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