chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
