The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize