haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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