The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
