Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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