You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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