Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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