bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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