VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
