If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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