If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's shark week go big or go home
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
