cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
