The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
