It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
