Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this will be a night to untag.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
