im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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