ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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