I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
