Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
