is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
