Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
