Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize