Do vagina's smell?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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