Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
