I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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