Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
