THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
