I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
