i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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