? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
