it's not cheating when I paid for it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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