In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just cut my nipple shaving
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
