i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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