Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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