Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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