i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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