we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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