It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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