I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize