butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
