Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
