Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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