Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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