I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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