do herpes really smell.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
