waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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