A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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