God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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