The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
