The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
