yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
