Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
