he puts the penis in happiness.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
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I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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