so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
