Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
