i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
