someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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