it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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