The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
