Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
