Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
