It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
