A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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