i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
